Walking down the movie theater steps with that strip of light to the side, my heart was pounding faster than the light bulbs that I passed. It was still before the previews, so the lights were just dimmed. I got to the front of the theater where you can’t sit because you’re too close and stood in the middle. A little bar was separating me from the crowd seated for the movie “300.” There was no stopping now.
“Hey! Does anyone actually care about this?” My index fingers were pointed at the ad saying you can put ads on the movie screen. I was going to start off with telling them how bringing a kid to Victoria Secret would be the perfect occasion for holding the store up. “What’s your favorite ethnicity of kids?” A shut up is yelled and before I can start the second sentence the booing starts.
I didn’t get a chance to finish one joke walking back to the top of the stairs to rejoin my friends. So many things that I did wrong were coming to my mind on the way up, and I honestly don’t believe that one of them was that it was in a movie theater. All in all though, I had just taken my first step to being a comedian. A dream of mine was materializing for the first time in my life.
There are two main dreams in my life that but one is related to trees growing over the world replenishing a lush life that use to be.
The feasible one involves becoming a person who makes people laugh. I feel ambiguous saying this, but I really think I’m really funny. This self confidence is only reinforced through my friends. When I’m with them I can think of good jokes and such, but for some reason they all revolve around rape and pillaging. I’ve somehow to managed to diversify them a bit, so I think I can take on my jokes to a stage. Every activity I do I seem to over think things, but perhaps this pursuit will be something that favors that aspect.
Everyone has dreams in their life and for some reason very few take steps towards them. For a while I didn’t know the reason consciously but on the subconscious level I knew why. I was just scared. I was scared of embarrassment and would wonder how I would keep the terrible memory from taking over my life.
Throughout my life I have always taken the safe side. I have never gotten out of my comfort zone to do something. Sometimes I think I have, but in reality it’s nothing. “What has two thumbs and loves getting head? This Guy!” (The last part is very long and very drawn out.) It seemed ballsy to me at first, but then I realize I was getting nothing out of it. I got laughs out of girls but then what? I couldn’t continue a conversation with opener, I couldn’t do much with it. I didn’t get over my fear of opening random girls, I took a detour that took me nowhere.
But that night at the movies, I took a chance and it was totally rejected. The feeling I hated, but the experience I loved. The feeling of rejection, of hurt, and of confusion just lead to the desire of me becoming the best to show them all up. There is a possibility of becoming a star. Even if I fail, and grow up malnourished and homeless, it would be falling hard with something that I loved to do.
Everyone in the world should follow their dreams. We would have inspiration all around us and wonders through out the world. The drive everyone had for their dreams could possibly lead to a peace and a calming through the world. The world will be dream like and the people will be gods.
There is a terrible feeling that I have about how I have taken one step for one of my dreams and that has opened up that path. But the other path is currently closed off. I haven’t taken a huge chance like the movie theater with girls. And actually, there is nothing to lose, just some embarrassing memories which can easily be turned in to humorous ones.
From now on I’m taking a baby step everyday. Three thousand baby steps can probably make a lap around any average size house. That analogy could be used for life if you think about it.
The sum of this paper is explaining to my self that there is nothing to lose and everything to gain if you just go for your dreams. But why is it so hard? Why can’t I just go up to any girl and say what I want to say? These are questions that cannot be answered and should just be ignored. But…
There are so many buts in the pursuit. So much doubt follows everyone every step of their life. Your body isn’t helping either. You’re wired to take the safe side so you can higher rates of reproductive success. If a hunter and gatherers dream was to just make peace with the earth’s natural disasters like tsunamis, then he would die. But that’s not the case in today’s society of education and police! There are checks and balances and everyone knows that you need proper to apply proper physics dynamics before you can fly.
So all in all, I’ve talked a lot about “going for it.” Talk is cheap, I’m going to go back to sitting on my computer. Actually, screw that. My life can turn in to an absolute dream and fantasy if I just apply some effort and am willing to fail. Here I go.
No comments:
Post a Comment